Monday, February 9, 2009

The many roles of a mother....

I embarked on a new "mommy" role this week that I hope I don't have to take on very often. We have a friend who is moving and we will likely not see in the future. This was an adult friend, but one that was always kind to David and paid special attention to him. David even calls his guitar his "Kerry guitar" after this guy. There were times that this guy did things that drove me crazy and made me want to severly hurt him. He made obnoxious comments, raided my refrigerator and stayed at our house way too late at night (or should I say too early in the morning). But it was this week that I realized that his crazy antics that drove me crazy didn't matter in the eyes of a 3 year old. We told David that Kerry would be moving back home with his mommy and daddy. I didn't want to make a big deal about it b/c he is only 3 but I wanted to tell him. A 3 year old didn't need to know the specifics-he obviously wouldn't understand any of it. He just kept saying " he doesn't have to leave, he can stay here". We told him he had to get a new job to which he replied "no he doesn't. he can work for daddy". Yea, that just wouldn't work-bible major enters accounting world...I just don't see it! David got so hyper and excited when he saw Kerry after not seeing him for several weeks. It was very apparent that he was very excited to see him although he hadn't talked about him while he was gone. I had decided earlier to not tell him about Kerry-I reasoned that if he wasn't around David would just forget. That didn't happen. He wanted to play his guitar for Kerry, wrestle with him, show him some new toys, etc. Kerry was important in his life-I didn't see it, but it was made apparent to me this week. And I am glad he had him in his life for this short period. David needs male figures in his life and Kerry provided that in the ways a three year old needed it. Although I still struggle with everything surrounding him leaving and can still get irritated with him-there is one important thing I realized this week that I hadn't realized before. He was important in my kids life and so, despite all of the rest of the yucky stuff, I will remember that and always be glad for it.

Now in all realization as the months continue on, he will forget about Kerry. It's sad, but true. I know it really will not make a lastening impression on him as his young age. But it was sad. He kept saying he doesn't have to leave, etc. and was sad when he said good-bye. He held on so tight-it's as if he really did understand. All this to say, I just don't like seeing my kids hurt. So far in his young life, I have only seen him physically hurt by scraped knees, balls hitting his head and the occasional push by a friend. I have yet to embark on dealing with emotional pain and I tell you that I would take a scraped knee anyday over this kind of hurt. Oh, how will I deal with it when the first kid makes fun of how he throws a ball or what he wears? What will I do when a girl breaks his heart? I do hope I can keep my emotions in check and use them as teachable moments. I hope I take the time to show him that God created him perfectly and he needs to be how God wants him to be, that there is pain in life but we need to glorify God through it. That obedience to God's word in crucial and there are big consequences when you don't obey. And so many of the other lessons pain brings in our lives. Well, of course all of these lessons will come after I kick the kid who made fun of him or give that girl a piece of my mind!

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