Friday, June 5, 2009

Family Watermelon Picnic

aka "white trash Clappers"

Picture this....a spring like Sunday evening in the "charming" (I use this term loosely) town of Audubon. The Clapper family has just been reunited after the parents took a fabulous vacation for a full 36 hours. To celebrate our time together we break out a recent favorite-WATERMELON! My ever so brillant husband just decides to bring the watermelon and knife on the front porch. No plates, not cutting board, no nothing....just a watermelon and knife. He proceeds to start handing out wedges of watermelon. Given how the event began, I decided that there was no class left in us nor any dignity and promptly began stripping the children so that their clothes could be spared. Although you couldn't tell from our front yard picnic, their clothes were not items I picked from a trash can 20 years ago-I did think they were worthy of wearing again, without watermelon stains. Although we certaintly looked trashy spread out in our "spacious" front yard, they sure had fun which, in my opinion, is all that counts!
Ellie likes to eat her watermelon big girl style. If you hand her a piece, she turns her head as if to say "I am so over eating small pieces. I can hold it myself!!". I do not allow her to hold it herself....that is even messier than biting it. She gets stripped down anytime she eats watermelon.
Unfortunately this picture was taken at the beginning of our "picnic". Literally 5 pieces later, his stomach was covered in juice. I literally had to take a wash cloth and scrub it off. And he wonders why I make him take his shirt off.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It's son is a boy!

It all started as an innocent game of "hokey poky". Since I spend every waking moment caring for my children's every need and furthering all areas of their development, never spending time blogging, e-mailing or on facebook, I was taking the time today to teach David some new songs. I began "Hokey Poky" and went through all obvious extremities that one would use for this song. I thought he would think it was funny if mommy "stuck her bum in, stuck her bum out, stuck her bum in and shook it all about". Well, I was quickly informed "mommy, we only talk about our bums in the bathroom, not in the bedroom". He DOES learn from me-amazing!!

I proceeded to ask what else we could put into the hokey poky game. He responded "eyes". Ok, eyes it is. "What else?" I should have known to stop with eyes....just do the basics! Why was I trying to be supermom and invent new verses? WHY? I ask you!!!??

David:"mommy, we could put our balls in."
Mommy, trying to not jump to a conclusion in my mind, thinking maybe he means his baseball which he has grown fond of...nope, not what he meant.
Mommy: "what balls do you mean David?"
David: (While giving instructions while pointing, with an element of disgust that I don't know what he is talking about) "the balls that hang underneath my penis".

Oh, right, of course. Song over! I do not remember exactly how I handled the comment although I am sure there was some muffled laughter, turning of the face to laugh and a rub on his head and a "i love you buddy. you sure are mommy's boy!"

Note to self: When I tell him that we only talk about bums, poop, etc. in the bathroom only, I apparently need to add "balls" to the list! Well, at least he knows his anatomy! He may not know his numbers or letters, but he knows his anatomy. Whatever-letters and numbers are highly overrated!

P.S. Sorry this is a post without pictures, but I did not know exactly what picture would be appropriate for a post of this nature! I figured you should appreciate a pictureless blog in this instance...